


Come Home To A Flashing Light

by prouvairablehulk



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: I do t even know what the fuck this is, M/M, blame Rob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 15:28:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14897157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouvairablehulk/pseuds/prouvairablehulk
Summary: You have five new voicemail messages.BEEP.(In which Mick Rory makes his public debut as Bruce Wayne’s significant other, and the BatFam reacts like the BatFam)





	Come Home To A Flashing Light

**Author's Note:**

> Blame Rob for whatever this is

You have five new voicemail messages. Press one to play. 

BEEP

New Message from Your Eldest Son, received at one twenty three ae em. 

“Bruce? It’s Dick. We very clearly need to talk. What the hell do you think you’re doing bringing Mick to an event as Brucie? I love the man, really, I do, he’s a great influence on you, and you obviously are happier around him, but it’s a very big danger to put him out there next to Brucie. He’s still got three warrants out on him that the pardon hasn’t cancelled yet! And do we really want to see what he does if a paparazzi follows him? Especially if he’s out with Cass or Dami? Think about it before you call me back with whatever we’re using as the family party line when Vicky Vale inevitably corners me at work. Also, what’s this I hear about another thief? You have a TYPE, Bruce, and please god don’t bring Len Snart to one of those, that’s an actual lawsuit the legal department won’t be able to vanish. CALL ME, Bruce. 

Text from: But Did You Die

Roy is sending me snapchats of Ollie’s forehead vein what did you do 

Text from: But Did You Die

BRUCE BRUCE BRUCE YOU TOOK MICK OUT

Text from: But Did You Die

That is a good suit you put him in

Text from: But Did You Die

Barry’s there now Roy says he’s complaining about you stealing his bad guys

Text from: But Did You Die

Tell Mick he can pick between Papa and Daddy and he has ten minutes to do it before I start using to to make it clear to the underlings that no one is fucking with Central City’s Underworld ever. 

New message from Omnipotent Oracle, received at one forty six ae em. 

“BRUCE WAYNE that was either the best thing you have ever done or the worst I may just be forced to murder you either way. Tell Mick he looks really good in the mugshot Vale just dug up and HOLY FUCK Bruce you didn’t sleep with Len Snart too, did you? What am I talking about of course you did. I’m telling Flash you stole his bad guys. CALL ME.”

Text from: Timmy 

gaaaaayyyyyyyyyy.gif

Text from: Timmy

I’m bringing Kon to the next gala. And you have to stop glaring whenever Jay brings Roy and Kori around. 

Text from: Timmy

Proud of you, though. How’s Mick doing?

Message received from PRINCE ASSHOLE at two twenty one ae em. 

“BATSY congrats! Bring Mick and this ice one to the next league meeting. They look fun.”

Text from: Borg 

Tell Heatwave nice suit and also that I know where all those offshore accounts are and I will ruin him if he hurts you. 

Text from: Borg

#reluctantbatmandefensesquad 

Text from: The Only Rathaway You Actually Like 

BRUCE YOU HOMEWRECKER WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ROGUE DAD 

Text from: The Only Rathaway You Actually Like

WAIT NVRMND ROGUE MOM SAYS YOURE BANGING HIM TOO

Text from: The Only Rathaway You Actually Like

I’d threaten you but listen Lisa is COMING FOR YOU

Message from JESUS CHRIST BRUCE DON’T PICK UP THE PHONE received at three twenty eight ae em:

“Mister Wayne, it’s Vicky Vale. I’m looking for a quote on your new beau the supervillain. You know the number, call me back!”

Text from: The Big Blue Zombie

Ma wants to meet your new boy - bring him to Sunday lunch next time you fly down in that private jet. 

Text from: Lois Lane

INTERVIEW BRUCE

Text from: Lois Lane

GET ME AN INTERVIEW WITH YOUR BOY AND I’LL WIN A FUCKING PULITZER 

Text from: Roadrunner

STOP STEALING MY VILLAINS ASSHOLE I LIKE THEM WE HAVE A RAPPORT WE BANTER

Text from: Roadrunner:

THEY’RE MINE FUCK YOU 

Message from Alfred received at six forty nine ae em

“Master Bruce, there is a woman here to see you. She gave her name as Lisa Snart? I would be concerned if I were you, Master Bruce. She has a shovel. She’s in the north parlor.”

Text from: Actual Goddess

Bruce, Darling, tell your Beau he looks wonderful in that suit. 

Text from: Actual Goddess

And tell him Helen is enjoying Themiscyra greatly, and would love to catch up with his team when they have a chance. 

Text in: I Promise It’s Not Stockholm Syndrome/Not Funny Lenny

Mick: Love you, Batsy

Mick: And tell Vicky Vale to stop calling. If anyone’s getting an exclusive interview it’s Iris West-Allen.


End file.
